A kid in my area recently tried to commit suicide via slitting his wrists, which didn’t work out too well, given that he’s still alive and all.
First of all, the fact that he “cut” is rather pathetic. Is it so hard to get a gun in fucking Montana? Hell, most households have a shotgun or two and it’s pretty easy to extinguish yourself with one of those to the face. But slitting your wrists… If you want to make a “cry for help,” (which is all that method is… You know subconsciously there’s a chance you could survive) talk to someone for christ’s sake! Don’t ruin your family’s walls/furniture/carpet you inconsiderate prick. And if you’re hellbent on going out by cutting yourself in some way, go for the jugular or femoral artery. You’d impress a lot more people (me for sure) if you somehow managed to slice open your throat through your own willpower. But at least he actually tried, rather than the pansies who cut for recreation. I give him 5/10 for the effort.
Suicidal people are scum, and I don’t mean the ones who actually have issues and just go out quietly (that’s at least semi-respectable, though giving up life is still pathetic). I’m talking about the ones who flaunt it by cutting and showing off their scars, brag about their willingness to do it, and seem to get off by mentioning they’re suicidal. Get it over with already.
And while you’re at it, have some fun! It’s the end for you, and if you’re at all religious, suicide isn’t exactly a key to heaven so it’s not like it’ll be any worse if you cause some mayhem in the process. Bleeding out takes minutes and isn’t exactly comfortable, so a razor to the wrist isn’t a very bright idea. Be creative! You’re suicidal, remember? Here’s some ideas:
- Jump off a particularly tall building and try to land on a hummer. Not only will you have completed your goal, but you’ll put the granola driving it out a few thousand bucks. It’s a win win situation!
- Find a nice mural in a public area, grab a sawed off shotgun (so you can hide it easily before doing the deed), and proceed to splatter yourself all over it! Just think: A) You’ll ruin somebody’s day since there would be witnesses (public place and all), B) You’d wreck the mural, causing hours and hours of painstaking labor painting it to be for nothing, and C) It’d forever be “that one spot where that person took a shotgun to their head.” What better way to get back at this cruel, cruel world that spat upon you?!
- Make a bomb that you can strap to yourself, and find one of those large propane tanks, preferably near a road. Kablooey! An impressive and fiery spectacle that’s relatively painless (provided the blast and not the shrapnel is what kills you) but fun for the whole family, since the majority of your body would be toast!
- Suicide by shotgun (it’s obviously the way to go) in the most popular area of your house (living room, etc; something that can’t be walled off) , but leave a note! Now, be specific. List names of people and say it’s their fault, especially your parents and any close friends, and that your dying wish is they all burn in hell with you for the pain they’ve caused. Think about it: That kind of guilt-trip combined with the grizzly image of your former head spread across the room would ruin their lives. The bastards…
And now, a brief word on “cutting.” It’s hilarious, and exactly the same as saying “Hey, I may not have quite enough will power to actually kill myself, but dammit, I can make some really nifty scars on my wrists!” I could give a shit if it’s an addiction for some people, too. “Oooh, I started cutting and now I can’t stop!” Shut up. There’s no such thing as momentary retardation, so if you’re dumb enough to start, too bad. Man, you thought your life sucked before? Now you’re addicted to giving yourself moronic looking scars! Hey, who knew: Life can be worse.
See what I’m getting at? If you can’t handle life and want the easy way out, you may as well make it fun and painless. But please, for the sake of whatever it is you hold dear, don’t muck about! If your life is really so painful and hard to bear, won’t you want to get it out of the way quickly? Oh, right… The only reason you WOULDN’T go out with an instantaneous “bang” is because your life isn’t so horrible, you have some will to carry on, and your claims of being “suicidal” are hypocritical. Somebody should shoot you just for being so astoundingly stupid.
ok look i think that was really selfish what
you did making fun of the kid who cut his wrist… and had such a hard
life you probably didnt understand…. either u couldnt understand that
or you just didnt want to take a few minutes to think about what you
wrote for the whole world to see!!!! just think about it this way… if
you were him and you did that would you want people making fun of you
all over the internet because of you trying to kill yourself…. face
it…. you are just trying to sound cool Keith! and i think you should
be staying out of other peoples business on if they are trying to kill
themslefs or not… just let it be its not your problem and if it does
become one of your problems then talk to him and let that person know
that you are there and you are going to try to help them stop and get
through it so until that day comes that you are mature enough to
understand that, than i suggest you go back to playing with your legos
and building bricks ok… ok
Keith,
I want 2 let you know that i think that what you wrote about my friend
was totally not needed. I think that u are usually a cool person but
seriously, what if “he” came 2 your site and read this, or better yet,
what would happen if some one read it and decided to use one of your
many strategies for suicide… Just think about that.. ~~Angie~~
I just want 2 let you know that i agree 100%
with that Angie person. It knin of sounds like she knows what she it
talking about.. Suicide is stupid, but you went a little bit too
far.Think about it.
Keith
didn’t write this. If you twits had actually read the description in
front of the link in his profile, you’d have realized that.Response to comment one:1. Learn to fucking spell.2. If I did something as stupid as failing a simple task like killing myself, i’d damn well expect to be made fun of.Response to comment two:1.
“Just think about that.” Which part? Your pathetic IM lingo that makes
you sound half your age (which i’ll guess is 12), or the laughable
attempts at making me “see the light” with your comment?2. I’d love for him to visit! More traffic = win!3.
I’d ask only that he mentions me in the note he leaves behind. People
these days, I swear… Stealing ideas left and right without giving
proper credit.
Well
wow, I really do not agree with you writing that because I was actaully
one of “his” close friends and what he does with his life should not be
any business of yours and you probably do not know the first thing
about what happened. Trust me, I do, and I do not think that it is even
close to funny. That kid has had a hard life and I do not agree with
what he did, I honestly think that Suicide is flat out stupid, but I
also think that it is something that the issue would be totally better
if it was left untalked about by you…I an not sure exactly sure who
you are but I probably go to school with you and can find out pretty
easily and by the way…Angie, who ever you are, you are not very
smart, because Keith was not the person who wrote that! If you got this
site from his profile you would have seen how it says,”Chris’s
stories!”, My nick name is Angie, but after I read that, I decided that
I never want to be called Angie again because it makes me sound to
fucking STUPID!
omg ur so fucking stupid you need to get a life. i hope one day u get shot in the ass
Blah blah BLAH bLAH
That “comment” is by far the most horrific
thing I’ve heard come from a human being’s mouth! Whoever you are
(Keith & Chris) you guys should just do the world a favor and keep
your pre-pubecent, ignorant comments to yourself…also I hope the poor
kids parents stumble across this and sue you for everything you and
your parents own or will ever own…and if I ever see one of you sorry
son-of a bitches wander around my house again or into my yard I swear
to god you’ll wish you had thought to cut your wrists….
More comments from the peanut gallery, yay!Angelique
& Jessica… I suggest you check out the most recent post on this
site if you want a better explanation. And thanks for offering an
intelligent comment, unlike the following…”omg ur so fucking stupid” – This is the epitome of irony.And the last one… First off: “That “comment” is by far the most horrific thing I’ve heard come from a human being’s mouth!”Really?
Most people see that comment rather than hear it. If you can hear my
thoughts though, you might want to get in touch with a paranormal
research center. They LOVE people like you.Secondly: I’m well
past puberty, which is evident because I can spell “pubescent”
correctly. Thirdly, by not mentioning this kid’s name or being specific
at all about him, I can successfully avoid any legal implications. And
lastly, “wander near my house again and you’ll wish you had cut your
wrists”? That might be a tad more frightening (not that threats over
the internet are anything but entertaining, but bear with me) if you
actually left a name. Genius.Have a nice day!
WORD UP CHRISTOPHER! Please note I’m not afraid to put my name on here.. Ooh Scary I know! I like to live life “Dangerously”
I’m
so scared. Chris what do I do. Someone is going to kill me before I hit
puberty… Wait, that was like, shit 5 years ago? Yep, 6th grade, thats
the grade you guys are in NOW. Btw Chris, Im sueing your for everything
too… I want to because, well your WHITE. By the way, if I die, and I
know about it, I’m taping it for everyone to see. “face it…. you are just trying to sound cool Keith!”I don’t need to sound cool, I just “look” cool. DUH.”and i think you should be staying out of other peoples business on if they are trying to kill themslefs or not…”Who
starts a sentence with and without a capital letter too. Not only that
what is “themslefs”? Also, you want me to stay out of peoples business?
As IF!By the way, why don’t you stay out of my life by reading this site or by talking to me.”I feel a burning sensation when I touch the blade to my wrist, like a pain I can control… I love it”
To all the small people i’ve managed to offend with this:Since its no longer on the top, and since I have little faith in your ability to read through the rest of this site, go here: http://stupidchronicles.blogspot.com/2005/03/life-sucks-get-fucking-helmet.htmlIt
should clear up any misunderstandings about this post. And I’d like to
warn anyone who still doesn’t get my point: I’d be more than happy to
destroy these comments on the main page.Thank you, and have a nice day!
Chris: If ur gonna write a story about
someone make sure u get the fucking facts straight, u asshole! YOu
didn’t even know him. I DID! i was his gf.Keith: I hate u so bad. Grow up a little Bit. If ur gonna talk shit then go hang urself, u nazi fuck!From: His EX
^^ When she says, “His EX” she means Sam H. I was terrified some little shit was claiming to be my “EX”. I like how you stole “Nazi Fuck” from Anti-Flag, thats cute.In
conclusion, I would say that we knew him better than you. Infact, I
dont think you know him at all. Why dont you take a knife and join him.
Or, you could give him a helping hand. Just, please, I would appreciate
it if you would just CUT IT OUT. Also, Don’t mention my name. Maybe you
should just GO KILL YOURSELF? “Gehen Sie tötet sich.”
Good to know youngsters are able to connect anybody using the German language with Nazis…”If
ur gonna write a story about someone make sure u get the fucking facts
straight, u asshole! YOu didn’t even know him. I DID! i was his gf.”2
paragaphs of 10 is not a story, it’s an introduction. Again, it’s sad
how you and all your little friends can’t grasp how this post really
didn’t have much to do with the kid.Did he do this: “Flaunt it
by cutting and showing off their scars, brag about their willingness to
do it, and seem to get off by mentioning they’re suicidal”?If
the answer is no, shut the fuck up and go away beacuse that’s the
thesis of this post as it appears in the 3rd paragraph. If it doesn’t
apply to him, you have nothing to be upset about.Face it, you’re just pissed because not everybody is as damned sensitive as you. Grow up and get used to it.
I
have a comment! I did know Sam, this is truth! Not only that, but I
lived all of 70 feet from him. I have played catch, went to church
with, and otherwise lived in the general area of the kid. If any of
you small, confused, annoying little people would like to argue over
whether or not what he did was in fact incredibly stupid, then write me
up. The posts here- and after, both make clear that Sam isn’t a target
or a victim, so please (!)quit repeating youselves and each other with
stupid little quotes like ” you didn’t know him”, or “you weren’t even
there”. I not only knew him, but I also knew of his bout of bad
judgement before you, and (oh wow!)I know just about every detail of
“why” he did. Quit your posts, or write something that actually says
that there was a purpose to the act; not useless crap to try and argue
a false point, or likewise useless crap to garner attention. You
haven’t convinced anyone of your brilliance- quite the opposite-and you
sure aren’t about to convince anyone that you’re right either.
Hey, you guys know who “his ex” is right?
No,
I don’t. And to throw a rather mean twist into this whole thing, I must
say that “his ex” must not have made a very good impression…
Are you people going to start leaving your names on your posts? So far-
judging by the bad spelling and repetitious comments, I’m guessing that
only one person (mebbe two) has actually made a post under
“anonymous”.That being said, I also think that “Angie” is Angelique,
and made fun of herself, which is kind of sad. Methinks that you whiny people are the ones who don’t get it…
Actually
I was not the person who left that comment…I would never say that
Keith is a cool person because I Hate him…:) SO get your facts strait
right..thanks
Hey “Dan D” and Chris…what are your e-mails?
Well I changed my mind. I dislike him a lot.
Well Angelique (Angie!),I
thank you very much for telling me to get my facts “strait”, I’d hate
to think I was as confused as, say, an 8th grader who completely
mistook the meaning of not one, but two posts (!), and then kept going
on about random crap until way after her initial misunderstanding. Translation:
Angelique, you are being a dummy, and still can’t spell. Take the above
paragraph to babelfish.com, and have it translated from English to
Stupid, because you still don’t have a clue what you are talking about.
Besides, my “facts” are fine, I could swear you skipped through my post
until you found something- anything- that you could stand on. The whole
point of my posts was to convey that I’m tired of reading your
pointless posts, and to suggest you get a clue. Do so, now.
To keith: Don’t flatter yourself.i didn’t
claim to be ur EX. i said i was sam’s EX. Ur sick i wouldn’t date u
anyways.
I see that this anonymous person didn’t read my stuff either!
I also recall typing something about pointless crap to garner
attention, but if you must insist on proving me right, keep it up! I’m
sure Keith thought you were a great girlfriend, he talks about you all
the time… or maybe you just don’t understand sarcasm. Yup, I think
that’s the problem: now that you’ve run out of stuff to write about the
initial post, you’ve started in on the replies! I’m sure someone out
there will be so overcome with your brilliance that they’ll nominate
you for a Nobel Prize; and hey, you just might win. Anyhoo,
I’m repeating myself: you are stupid, and it is fitting that you come
to this site to whine. I think Chris (that evil bad man, I once saw him
execute a kitten for purring at him; the monster!) has said what we
sane people think- that suicide is stupid and inconsiderate- and that’s
all there is to it, you won’t change anyone’s mind here. Go in peace, or go in pieces: but I’ll laugh at you either way. Toodles!
Ben
do you even know me..I don’t think so… You should just keep your
mouth shut…:D…Just in case you have not noticed, I have been trying
to stay away from this site but someone keeps bringing me up in their
comments….Another words stop talking about me and I will stay
away…Got it?
To: benJust
to let u know…the anonymous person is Kristen Kampfe. If ur gonna be
like some of the guys on here and post gay comments about me then i
will hate u, just like i hate them. From: Kristen
Omg
Ben, you better fucking watch out. Yours and the other juveniles’ rude
remarks,lol, are really hurting peoples feelings. I say fuck their
feeling and keep up the good work.-God-
The last post on this subject: To begin with, I don’t want to read any replies from the people I mention in the following.There
is way to much attempting to read into things here. I never claimed to
know the first thing about Angelique, I don’t think we’ve ever even
formally met. I haven’t written anything here that is really up for
argument, so DON’T ARGUE IT. This also goes with what Chris originally
wrote: Sam was never even mentioned by name, was only alluded to in the
first two paragraphs, and even had he been outright mocked for pages on
end, there’s nothing you can honestly do about it. We here in America
have a constitutional right to write about anything we choose, whether
it’s “true”, “nice”, or not. You have no argument there.Nor do
you have an argument about “getting facts straight.” Nothing in the
original post lies about what happened. Exclusion of detail (name,
residence, etc.) isn’t “wrong”, and is really a much nicer way to do
things. If you ever get caught doing something, you’d prefer certain
details were left out, and since they were, you should actually be
thanking Chris (!!!) for his discretion. This isn’t a newspaper, it’s a
rant, so it’s meant to offend you, and maybe open your eyes a little to
other people’s views. To Kristen: You misunderstood me
somewhere down the line. The only “gay” thing I think you could take
offense at was “I must say that “his ex must not have made a very good
impression…”Why defend that? I have had friends show up with slit
marks on their wrists, and it pisses me off. Friends who are willing to
kill themselves aren’t worth defending- at least not there. I get the
strong impression that my friendship doesn’t mean that much to certain
people, why else would they go about doing crap like that. It’s
inconsiderate, it’s about as rude as possible, maybe even the ultimate
betrayal of friendship. You should be pissed, but not at me, and not at
Chris. We are right, and you can’t change that with threats of hatred,
or false points. If you toss hatred around that easy, then by all
means, hate me. That’s pathetic, and not worth my time .That
wraps it up. I don’t feel very bad about anything I’ve written, though
I did kinda unload on Angelique. So sue me. I don’t pretend to know
everything, but if you want to make this site into a verbal war, YOU
WON’T WIN. It’s not about winning or losing anyways, it’s a blog. You
choose to come here, to write here, to be heard here. You are allowed
to take offense -I have myself- but don’t pursue it, it won’t get
anything accomplished. That’s all folks, I have spoken.
Ben….Do
you seriously think that either of us care what u say or think about
us. We don’t! however…Kristen hates u all. Angelique doesn’t but if u
push her buttons she will.Have an awesome day!
“…I have been trying to stay away from this site but someone keeps bringing me up in their comments.”…”Do you seriously think that either of us care what u say or think about us. We don’t!”I’ll let the hypocrisy speak for itself.
Wait, some one tried to off themselves and I missed it. Aww, sad day. I hope it wasn’t anyone I liked. Missing the small town rumor-mill, ’tis the heavy burden one must bear when we move away. Meh, es ist Wurst zu mir. Zeig Heil…erm…I mean…
Holy Shit.
The post is really damn hilarious, and I love how it stirs so many morons up.
I especcially like the propane. But, a little tip: don’t use the “large size propane tanks.” Go to Thompson, and break into the place with the huge propane tanks with a bomb. That way, instead of only 150 gallons or so, you could blow yourself up with about 2.5 million gallons of propane, ($5 million or so), plus, half of a town, and a whole lot of really shocked people would get a really impressive view of some poor, pathetic loser who went off the deep end. I shouldn’t say loser actually. At least if you went out with that much of a bang, you could get some respect. If you just tried to kill yourself by making a small incision on nearly the bitter end of an extremity… now… that’s another story.
And further more, if you tried to kill yourself by making said small incision, that’s bad enough, obviously. I mean, your life is obviously bad enough that you are trying to end it. The cutter would rather have nothing than have what they have now. That is sad. But then, to go and fail at killing yourself, that must be really, really depressing. Can you imagine what a failure you would feel like? I mean, you can’t even kill yourself properly without sucking and bungling something up. Then, to make things worse, if you do fail, technically, it’s illegal and you could go to jail. Then, you’d be in jail for sucking so bad at trying to kill yourself because your life is absolutely horrible and needs to be ended.
Talk about harsh!
Well. What an interesting insight of the lives and times of the next wave. I almost fell geriatric(I’m sure one of you will correct my spelling on that). Almost.