The burden of goodbye

I’m taking a moment out of the usual again (I’ll try not to make this a habit) ranting/mockery for something entirely serious, so bear with me…

Yesterday something quite tragic and unbelievable happened: Mr. Groff (our high school English teacher) was killed in a car accident.

If it had been anybody else I wouldn’t bother posting anything here. But Groff was different. Damn near everybody loved him and his classes. Not because they were easy, and not because your daily work was limited. It was because he made it fun. It sounds like a cliche, making learning fun. But Groff did it. He gave you a reason everyday to want to come to school. I had exactly one semester with him and never have I laughed so hard inside a classroom, while in the same period of time learned so much. He could stand there, talk for an hour straight, and not once would you feel bored. I looked forward to his lectures/notes, no matter what the topic was, because it was always hilarious and usually thought-provoking.

I’d be lying if I said he taught me everything I know about writing, and I can’t stand when people patronize the dead for something they clearly didn’t do. But if Groff hadn’t arrived when he did, at a time when I had just finished 3 straight and fairly boring stories for short films, I may have lost interest in writing. He encouraged your writing, no matter if it was bound to offend somebody, so long as you were being honest. His class made me realize that it’s something you should have fun with, and it’s not always to be taken seriously.

Groff wasn’t a teacher to most people, though he may have “taught” them. He was a friend. I’ve never known any “teacher” who could just stand around with a group of students at lunch break, crack jokes, and make the lot of them laugh their asses off. He was a big kid, he really was (another cliche, but it’s so true). Hell, he even got a kick out of this site and encouraged me to write more here.

It was so unexpected you don’t know what to say or quite how to feel. I sat in the auditorium (possibly the only intelligent thing our principal has done all year was NOT announcing it over the PA system) amid the dead silence of 190 or so kids, and there was a moment where I tried to wake myself up. It didn’t feel real. And once it sinks in you look for something to blame, someone to point a finger at, but you can’t. Life is full of random events, and every so often one will be a horrible twist on reality.

Every interaction you have with people dictates their feelings towards you. It’s so obvious that half the population doesn’t realize it. Groff did. He cared about his students, and always greeted my classmates and me if we passed by in the hall or anywhere else in town. It’s such a small, subtle gesture that we all take for granted until we’re given the benefit of hindsight.

We never took Groff for granted, and we’ll never forget the good times we had with him.

RIP,
Eric Groff.

Seeya on the other side.

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0 Responses to The burden of goodbye

  1. Kaelyn R. says:

    Thanks chris for writing that. i’m glad u did. Groff is missed and always will be !

  2. Dan D. says:

    Thank You Christopher, your one of the few people who can word such a tragidy. We all will miss Groff. Rest In Peace.. Mr. Groff

  3. Will says:

    Thanks
    Chris. I think i speak for everybody when i say this has been one of
    the hardest weekends of our lives. Its so hard to put his life into
    words, but you did a good job. I think if there was one word to
    describe him it was friend. He was always your friend first and he will
    always be remembered and loved for that. We’ll never forget you Groff,
    you were like an angel sent to us out of the blue. I wish we could have
    had you longer but I’m just thankful that I had this short time, you
    truly made an impact on my life. “ALRIGHT”.WE’LL MISS AND LOVE YOU GROFF

  4. Nettie says:

    I just stumbled on your site, I know you don’t know me, but I wanted to express my condolences. May his memory live on.

  5. aaron.k says:

    Well
    put Chris. We are honored to have known Mr. Groff. He was a hell of an
    English teacher but more importantly, a good friend.

  6. Jed N. says:

    Doggone
    that guy was cool wasn’t he? Gonna be weird going in his room and
    seeing anybody else behind the desk. Thanks a lot for the book Groff.
    I’ll play some Johnny Cash for ya.

  7. John W says:

    Thanks
    Chris. There was no other teacher like him. He related to us kids and
    was a good friend. Ill miss you Groff, and will always remember you.

  8. Anonymous says:

    He was an awesome teacher and the accident
    was such a big shock to us. His memory will always live on we love you
    groff

  9. Anonymous says:

    No one could have put that in better words Chris!!

  10. Keith N. says:

    Wow,
    very nice Chris, mad props. Groff would be stoked to be on your
    webpage, even if it didn’t offend anyone. Rest In Peace Groff. See you
    and Tupac in Thugz Mansion.

  11. Soilworker says:

    Thank you all for the amazing feedback, and for spreading the word about this post to everyone who may have wanted to see it.On
    another note, i’d like to know who the two anonymous comments are. I
    appreciate them, but I was sorta curious due to the time they were
    posted (first block? ‘Guess there wasn’t anything better to do).Anyways, thanks again. All of you.

  12. Katie C. says:

    Chris,
    I found your blog after a college friend passed along the news of
    Groff’s death. Groff and I lived in the same freshman dorm in college,
    and I have such fun, fond memories of him. Many of us who knew Groff in
    college are absolutely in shock. It’s wonderful to hear that he was an
    entertaining and enlightening presence at your school…thank you so
    much for your post – I’m passing along this site to several friends.

  13. Brad says:

    Chris, you are fourth favorite person right now. Groff was more like a mentor for me, matt, and bob. RIP Groff man

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