Awhile back I decided I would go looking for some of the blogs from around here. Why? Sheer boredom and the expectancy of finding someone over 18 living around here with writing abilities. Can’t say there were too many results, but there didn’t need to be. The few I found were more than I could handle as they had this nasty tendency to look to one thing to solve their problems. And I quote:

“[you should] let God guide you instead of trying to guide yourself.”

Oh, grand idea! I have to work tomorrow, but I don’t want to. Hmm, maybe I should let God decide for me. He would know best too, because he can see into the frickin’ future! He’s like a superhero! Maybe there’ll be a big fire that kills everybody at the store, and since I’m the most special-est person on the face of the earth, he’ll tell me “Hark! STAY HOME TODAY.” But God’s real clever, he won’t just come out and say it. He’ll do something ingenious like give me a small case of leprosy, causing me to stay home, and THEN torch the joint. Or, you know, talk to me using one of the voices in my head. Deities are shy…

And if something terrible does happen, and I live because I stayed home, then that’s CLEARLY proof of his existence. I mean, evidence just doesn’t get any better than that!

I love how people are willing to attribute damn near anything in their lives to God. Feeling sick? Close your eyes, talk aloud (all knowing deities can’t hear your thoughts, of course), and God will help you get better. Want to live through a dangerous event? Just ask for his help! I mean, I’m sure of the 3,000 or so that died on 9/11, not a one was begging for divine intervention because if they had, they’d obviously still be here. A fool-proof scheme, if I do say so myself.

And when they’re not asking for direct intervention, it’s for “the strength”. OoOh, please God! Give me strength to get through this difficult time! Give me strength to eat that carrot! Give Joe-Bob the strength to win his go-kart derby!

And there’s nothing like being told “God has a plan” or some other line of garbage when somebody dies. Why not tack on a few words in front of that like “I have no clue why that happened, but…”? Hmm, I suppose it’s less comforting when you have the whole line of thought out there isn’t it?

Hell, while we’re on the business of fate, let’s take a moment for astrology: That lovely belief system propagated by the sub-species that is New-Agers. And if you laugh at astrology but still believe God is in control of your destiny, congratulations on living in a constant state of hypocrisy! It’s no less ridiculous an idea than this one being, whom nobody has ever had any physical evidence of existing, is controlling not only YOUR life, but everyone else’s.

Anyways, astrology is much more fun when you have an actual astrologist to quote. Here’s one trying to explain the fundamentals of it:

We respond to a broad spectrum of radiant frequencies, not all of which have yet been catalogued by science. Bear in mind it was not so long ago that the idea of radio, movies, x-rays and televison signals would have been consigned to ridicule at best — or, more ominously, to the stake with the witches.

Right. And I suppose that astrologists, being the clever arm-chair researchers they are, know better than scientists that these range of “radiant frequencies” we respond to are indeed out there. I’m sure scientists, some of whom devote their entire lives to ACTUALLY STUDYING these things, will catch up with these obvious geniuses soon and announce the existence of such rays.

Some astrologers believe that planetary energies themselves generate events in our lives — and given recent advances in quantum mechanics, they may be right.

Cleverly skipping past exactly what these advances are, we dive right into this…

Others believe, following Jung, the great psychologist, that planetary positions are synchronistically connected with our lives.

What the bloody fucking hell does psychology have to do with the study of planetary positions? I’m quite sure minds are not planets (in any literal sense), so what would Jung know? Oh, oh! Nothing.

Perhaps both are correct; in any case, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

No, the “proof of the pudding lies” in the ingredients. Just because it tastes like pudding, doesn’t mean that it is.

^ Deep.

this writer believes we are organically connected with the cosmos: whatever happens to any part of the world affects us to some extent as individuals, even in ways which may be quite invisible to the casual observer.

I wonder if he gets off on making shit up without any sort of evidence to back it. I believe there’s these hairy, nine feet tall monsters living in my backyard, and you should too. Why? Because I said so!

Moreover, history shows us that we react en masse much more noticeably to environmental factors which may be more or less insignificant at the individual level.

Look look, evidence! Oh, wait- False alarm! For a minute there I thought he cited some…

As human beings and spiritual entities, it is more important to understand our place in the world than to worry too much about such technicalities.

Yes, exactly! Never bother to think things all the way through! Especially beliefs that you base part, if not all, of your life on. They’re much easier to accept that way.

It should be said that astrology is not generally a way of foretelling inevitable fate…. While planetary influences create the groundwork and basis for action in any set of circumstances, there is still the element of free will in us all.

Ever read a horoscope that starts off with “You may…”, “Today, you probably…”, or “Your inclination will be..”? No? Me either.

I could spend hours going off on astrology, but it’s only part of my point. If you want more on its inherent bullshit, go here.

I keep using words like “proof” and “evidence” on here because, well, they’re kinda important. There’s no proof that a divine being has laid out your path for you and there’s no evidence that distant planets are having any sort of effect on you (if you go to that link you’ll see there’s evidence that they, in fact, have ZERO effect on anyone). And yet people still get duped into believing it because they’re too fucking lazy to ask simple questions like “can you prove that?”

So no, let’s not take responsibility for our lives. Hand them over to God. After all, should something terrible happen to you (contracting AIDS, losing all your extremities, taken hostage by Canadian terrorists, etc), you’ll at least have someone else to blame.

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