You see that? Do you see it? No seriously, stare reeeeallly hard at that. Got it? Comprehend that that’s a vehicle? Ok, now: Explain why, in the name of all that is logical, decent, and RIGHT in this world, somebody would put themselves INSIDE that in public. Can’t do it? Neither can I.
Scion xB is the technical term for painfully ugly these days, and apparently it’s a very desirable characteristic, since I see them all over the place now. The really strange thing is I don’t see the little handicapped logo on license plates for them; why isn’t this required? Anyone who wants to own one of these is obviously either completely blind or outright retarded. Fucking hell, just LOOK at it! It’s like a clown car, only instead of being purely for comedic effect, it’s meant to be “hip” or “edgy” or some other buzzword I’m glad isn’t in my everyday vocabulary. And it comes in bright orange for crying out loud! Do you see the irony in giving this vehicle a color scheme that’s often used by hunters to avoid being shot?
You’re probably saying to yourself, “Pft, beauty is in the eye of the beholder” or something to that effect about now. You know what? There’s some things in life that simply are NOT good looking, no matter how you look at them. A breakdown of the other things:
- Emo kids. In a nutshell: Guys in girl’s pants. Who wear makeup. Strikingly similar to transvestites, only depressed and uglier.
- Goths. As fun as living like it’s Halloween everyday must be, having six pounds of black makeup on your face, fangs, and an faux obsession with death is just slightly sadder than having Down Syndrome.
- Tribal “armband” tattoos. They’re just too original and exciting looking.
- Disgustingly overweight women in belly shirts. I covered this in an earlier post, but essentially, they’re the bionic form of a Scion.
- 95% of the accounts on Myspace. Having shitty streaming videos that no one but you cares about, 50+ monstrous pictures one after the other, and bright text on a bright background all on the SAME PAGE certainly strikes me as something only a color-blind monkey would do, but by the looks of it, that’s just me.
- Heartogram tattoos. A rant unto themselves, but honestly, it’s the same as tattooing “kick me” on yourself.
I simply ask that you once again scroll up and stare really hard at that thing, and please, if it “clicks” after a few minutes that it’s the coolest looking thing since God invented lightning, tell me. My stomach begins to churn after gazing at it for just five seconds.
Haha, I don’t like those compared to the Honda Elephant… Also known as the Element.. They both look pretty close, but I don’t mind them. They are spacious inside and very smooth ride… Take one out for a spin. But yes, a box on wheels isn’t the best design, you are right.
Yeah, initially it was just Elements I thought were awful. But then I saw some of these going to Missoula, and I found them far worse.
And I could really care less how good a ride they are. It’s just not worth it.
Ooh, hit the nail on the head with this one. Although I gotta argue with the heartogram tattoos. HIM is awesome.
kidding.
You can hold out for 5 seconds! I’m in awe…
Well, my first but yet more likely the second post on your site… I was pretty pleased when Jed sent me the link for the videos and figured I’d check out the rest of the place. Congrats on everything you’ve got going here… Oh and that Scion is one ugly peice of—-machinery???
you guys ever see the little known, ugly as shit, extremely expensive, ugly as rosie o’donnel hummvee 2? because i haven’t. i must have been blinded by their ungodly aura of shittacular shittyness! only a cruel and powermongering god would allow such an abomination to cross the plains!
YES, YES, YES!!!
Damn stupid cars. Here’s where it’s at: 1970 MGB. Google it if you don’t know what it is. British Racing Green, convertible. Now that… that is not boxy. (of course, admitadly, it’s not the “smooth ride” that Keith metioned either, but she’s damn fun to drive, and you feel extremely cool and british in one, especcially in the driver’s seat.
And yes, emo people, goths, and fat people all need to do something drastically different. HIM is just wrong, and all MySpace accounts are evil, evil I tell you.