Initially this was going to be two posts, but I figured I could kill two birds with one stone…
As of last Sunday, I have been employed for a whole year at our local grocery store, making a solid $5.15 an hour. I know, you’re jealous. And just for shits and giggles, I’d like to run down some of the more “interesting” aspects of my job thus far:
Dumbest, most consistent question: “Do you work here?” I have been asked this A) While facing the person, ensuring they can read the lettering on my shirt that names the store and B) While stocking bread off of a 6′ tall rack to the shelf. My instinctive response is “No, I’m just doing manual labor for FUCKING FUN,” but I manage to get a hold of myself and respond with a pleasant “yes”.
Strangest thing witnessed: Woman opens a carton of a dozen eggs and proceeds to count them. Yes, she opened the box and pointed at each egg, and as far as I know, the only purpose for doing that is counting.
Favorite moment: Yelling at children. It’s such a satisfying feeling…
Least favorite moment: Far too many to name, but in general, doing the work of whoever was on the night before me, because they’re retarded/lazy ranks up there a ways.
Best kinds of customers: Drunks! Entertainment for the whole family!
Worst kinds of customers: The one’s who bring in their noisy, seemingly half-retarded children and DON’T tell them to be quiet when they scream/yell/make constant noise for 10+ minutes. Coincidentally these are the types of people who, in addition to not being allowed to breed, should be shot.
All in all, it hasn’t been that bad a job so far. I’m not a moron so my bosses don’t hate me, and despite making minimum wage, I’ve got enough money to support my hobbies (like this one)…
Which brings me to the site. One whole year, again, as of last Sunday (I’ve opted to celebrate a week late for the hell of it). Certainly doesn’t seem like I’ve had it up that long, but to be honest things didn’t REALLY get going until oh, the evening of December 13th. I gave the link of “the suicide post” to a friend, and things pretty much exploded from there. Fun facts about the site from the last year:
Blogs started by other people as a result of this one: 3
Number of those I helped to kill: 1
Number of teachers who’ve commended my writing here: 3. And not just “aww, you’re such a good writer!” Nope, I’ve gotten full on “you’re hilarious” comments from them. Given the content and vulgarity of my writings, I really wasn’t expecting that.
Number of times any of my opinions have been destroyed/successfully argued against: O. I’m not an egomaniac, but I’d love to see just one decent argument against one of my opinions. I know it’s possible. Sadly, the only people who put up an argument at all are the ones barely tall enough to get on rides at amusement parks.
Favorite comment(s): Whoever the anonymous “THS student” here was. I could probably get more intelligent comments from someone smashing their head on a keyboard, but they wouldn’t be nearly as funny.
Favorite post: I’m really proud of my “Dave” post at the moment, but I’m fairly confident no more than 3 people understood it. So other than that, “Heil Das Hat Hazi” is a particularly shining example of my writing abilities. Strangely enough, that post sat as a draft that I had no intention of ever using for about 3 months before I went back and added another page or so of text to it (inspired by the Reich’s- er, school board’s- new set of rules).
And that’s about all the completely useless trivia I can think of concerning my job and this site over the last year. But I’m curious, what’s everyone’s favorite post here? Even though I have a pretty good idea, please leave a comment mentioning yours.
You may have noticed the logo at the top looks just a bit different. My original plan was to come up with some terribly clever new logo to commemorate this “event”. Alas, whatever I came up with was political-looking (which I’m absolutely not aiming for), so I’ve settled with just spiffing up the text for now.
Anyways, thanks to all the regulars for your comments and spreading the word about this site. Nearly 2,600 hits in a year, hardly any of which were referrals from search engines… I must be doing something right. So here’s to another year of mocking and ripping apart all things illogical, hideous, and above all, stupid.
“I gave the link of “the suicide post” to a friend, and things pretty much exploded from there. ”
Ooooh, was that, Me? And I just happened to give it to a teacher, which, he couldn’t stop laughing.
Which leads me to, my favorite post you have ever put:
“The Burden of Good-bye.”
Anyway, I love this place and I love you.
Ha, yep, it was you. I think you had it set as your MSN handle for the night, it was funny.
Favorite Post, well, either the Suicide post, or any post on Dave.