I’d like to dedicate the following to the fine folks in charge of my school. I know you’re reading this, so this one is juuust for you.

Let’s start off with something simple, like this word: Bullshit. You may be wondering what, exactly, bullshit is. Well! It’s wonderful that I’m here to enlighten you folks (hell I’ve already got you spying on my page and making pathetic attempts at monitoring my forum, so you may as well learn something while you’re here). This is what bullshit is:

It’s when a man- specifically the father of a great teacher who was killed last year- out of the massive generosity of his heart, donates $18,000 in scholarship money to students attending the public school his son taught at, only to have the honor of receiving such a generous gift shunned because the people in charge of that school are far more interested in covering their own asses than anything else. Moreover, those people covering their asses? They’re too fearful to explain to the general populous why- which is fantastically ironic, considering the only thing they’re afraid of is based on hearsay. Aw, is we afwaid of public backlash? Hmm? Yeah, if you’re going to throw bullshit at us at least give us the real reason behind it, you cowards. This teacher that we’re remembering? Did nothing but good for this school while he was here and to illustrate that, here stops the charades:

The man in question- this man- was involved with marijuana. There is solid evidence the man smoked it, nobody denies that. However, there is not solid evidence (see above reference to “hearsay”) that he did anything more with it. And I don’t know about you, but I rather like the idea of “innocent until proven guilty” and I find it more than offensive that anyone is willing to forfeit the memory of a great teacher over a stupid decision he may or may not have made. And you know, even if he had made that decision I would bet any important appendage of mine that it was an isolated incident and he wasn’t interested in doing it again, because if there’s one thing high school kids are good at, it’s finding out the details to these sorts of things.

Let’s take a look at another word: Hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is when you advertise to students for applications to this scholarship in your daily announcements for a solid week, but turn right around after the winners have been chosen and claim you have no interest in congratulating them publicly. If that’s how you choose to respect your students, then way to go guys! As far respect that you deserve goes, you’ve just relegated yourselves to the level of pond scum! Very nice!

And our last word of the day: Morons. You give students a chance to win a large amount of money- in an amount that would make ANY PARENT PROUD to have their kid stand up in front of an audience and receive- but won’t recognize in public that you did? And you justify your hypocrisy based on something that you’ve known all along? It’s a wonder your spawn don’t have down syndrome, because that is some sad and deeply rooted idiocy.

Everyone makes stupid mistakes and Groff was very much human. So while you sit there and piss all over his family’s continued generosity to this community, understand this- We knew him, you didn’t. We knew what kind of person he was, and it was the sort that deserves a scholarship in his name to be recognized. Pot and any activities relating to the use of it, is not murder. It is not pedophilia. It is not even close to the damage you risk inflicting by buying booze for minors. He never put a child in harm’s way, and I guarantee you he went out of his way to make sure he didn’t do that or anything else that would harm the precious little reputation we have as a school system. But apparently, this is the sort of man we shouldn’t honor in public.

Funny, just when you think you’ve got the right idea of what’s fair and what isn’t- BAM! You get jump-kicked in the face by a redneck.

But hey, it certainly is lovely seeing institutions run by the same insecure halfwits I’ve put up with every day of my life in high school. I mean isn’t it comforting to know that civilization is slowly de-evolving into a constant state of fear over what everyone might think? Because we’re well on our way to that state when the people in charge of our public schools are absolutely terrified that someone would think they made a mistake in hiring a teacher that wasn’t squeaky clean in their personal life, yet clearly loved his job and would never have done anything to jeopardize the life of a student.

Like I said, this post is just for you. Hypocritical, bullshitting, cowardly morons that you are.

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I’d be lying if I said that the majority of the hits to this site don’t come from my high school during its hours of operation. The fact is that the popularity of my lil’ spot to speak out (no really, one post a month is speaking out) spans all age groups- from teachers to high school students, all the way down to the wee retarded folk in the junior high. Hell, I’ve even managed to attract the attention of the high school principal on a few occasions (by lambasting his policies and generally making a mockery of everything he does, but still). However, there’s one age group that I thought I’d never reach, much less have them be the downfall of widespread access to this page at the place that made it so popular in the first place. What group do I speak of?

Elementary kids.

Oh yes. You see, two weeks ago (yeah, yeah- see above reference to laziness) it was discovered that this site had suddenly become one of the many places on the internet blocked by our school’s shiny new obnoxious and very-nearly-useless filter. Normally it cites a reason- adult entertainment, graphic images, web host (no, I don’t know either), profanity, etc. For me: “Local deny”. Apparently it was done rather hastily…

At any rate, I finally talked to our school’s computer admin (who’s a good guy and whom I’ve never had any problems with) and apparently the very small children down the road had been accessing my site. I can only imagine the scenario of a teacher seeing a child on here and the ensuing yelling, but alas, it garnered the attention of the principal down there and he promptly requested a ban. And since we’re too technologically inept to separate networks between buildings several blocks apart, it’s banned everywhere.

Now, I have no problem whatsoever with this site being banned at the elementary level. For one thing, nobody at that age would understand the posts around here- hell, half the people in my own grade don’t (you know, I just realized how sad that is)- and would inevitably be on just to see the dirty words or to say, “Wow, this guy is on the internet and I know him!” So even to kill time by getting a laugh or two out of the internet, which is the only reason anyone gets on here at the high school, it’d be useless down there.

What I do take issue with is the discussion I almost had with the admin about profanity on sites available at school (I say “almost” because I was entirely too out of it that morning to bother). Basically, he stated that maybe this site was more appropriate for home usage than at school.

Oh oh! So it’s not one of those sites appropriate for school… Like the internet games I see our computer lab monitor playing all the time? Or how about the countless unblocked geocities, tripod, blogspot, various editorial/opinion sections of new sites… I mean not only is there swearing (*gasp*) contained in those places, but some of them completely lack educational value! How DARE we have anything potentially fun/interesting available to our students! WE MUST CRUSH FUN. CRUSH IT LIKE EVIL, VIRULENT BUG!

Hey, while we’re at it we should applaud the teachers of our high school for not swearing in front of their students. I mean, who in our school can say they’ve heard them do that? By golly, not many! Oh, and rampant use of profanity and derogatory terms by students (many a time right in front of teachers) at lunch and break for all the campus to hear? Never happens. Nope! In fact, THS is its own happy little world filled with pretty colors, cute fuzzy things, and a head-honcho leader man that RADIATES with joy! Oh it’s such a beautiful, wonderfully wonderful world!

Or not. Look, profanity is a part of life and students are going to hear it one way or the other. While I’ll agree that excessive use of it is worthless and denotes unintelligence, when you spread it around it can add a particular style and attitude to writing, which is often helpful in making your point forcefully and bluntly. And since there is not an excessive amount here, I have a message to everyone that sees this page and feels it’s inappropriate for anyone ages 13 to 18:

You hear that? That loud “wooshing” sound? Yeah, that’s reality flying right the fuck past you.

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