Trampolines are a subtle way for parents to try and kill their children. “He accidentally launched off the side and compressed his spine” is easier to deal with than “I accidentally threw the little shit off the roof” I guess. But somehow, almost invariably, the kids with trampolines were the ones you wanted to hang out with as a wee tot.

Before living in Troy, one of my best friends in New Meadows had an enormous rectangular one (in addition to a SNES and an RV that we used as a fort- fuck, that kid was awesome), and it was always a matter of begging my mom to be able to play on it. As long as somebody was watching. Not that we needed supervision- Christ, I was five, maybe six years old. Practically an adult. So we’d bounce up and down, getting ridiculously high (stop giggling), and accidentally steal each others’ bounces. On a side note, I always found that damned terrifying- here you are, being innocently thrown up and down on this rubbery material, you land, and then fucking LAUNCH high enough to see your mom in your house five miles away yelling “you’ll break your legs on the way down!”. Here I am, 21 years old, and I still don’t understand the physics of that. Probably why I’m a film major.

Anyways, despite the fact that I loved hanging out with that kid, that trampoline was a big deal in itself when ever I went over to his house. So when we moved to Troy, I gravitated towards a neighbor who had all of the same cool shit.

I remember the first time I saw the Ramondellis- 250 Hummingbird Lane was a freshly tree-decapitated plot of dirt with a massive hole in the center. They (I’m not sure who “they” were, only that in later years it became obvious that “they” suck at building basements) were just starting to do the concrete for the basement, and I was standing in the backyard (though it was still just a bunch of entertainingly malleable dirt/clay). It was cloudy I think. Anyways, from up the back hill come these two unfamiliar big kids that my brother apparently knew, but I didn’t. Jeni and Griffin. They had left Shan below (typical game of “let’s see if we can get rid of the little one”), and a few minutes later he appeared.

Shan was a douche. I like him fine now, but not everybody is a little ball of sunshine as a child (myself obviously included). But we were neighbors and I was new, so a friendship was “encouraged” (after all, the only other person my age in the neighborhood was Jordan, and wimmins were gross). And it was ok, because he had cool stuff like a console and, yep, a motherfucking trampoline.

So we hung out occasionally. That’s how I came to know Rich, as “Shan’s dad”. A large man (at least when you’re seven years old), a scary man (when he yelled at Shan), and a man with a hammock.

Trampolines. One summer day we were bouncing- typical day really (if only fucking around on a trampoline were a common activity for adults). Something happened that caused me to swear. Like most kids by the age of six, I had a full vocabulary of swear words (as much as parents will try to pretend it’s not possible, sorry, we were all swearing at recess by kindergarten) so it wasn’t a huge shock to Shan or myself. But just to be a dick, as his dad walked by, this happened:

“Oh and Dad, Chris is swearing.”
Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no, he’s gonna tell my mom.
There’s a fretted brow and look of dismay.
Rich: “How old are you Chris?”
“…10”.
He shook head, then went back inside.
No parents were informed.

I figured he was an alright dad at this point.

Flash forward to Junior High: One of those bullshit days where we don’t get P.E. and are forced into Health stuff in the library (Health: where, prior to broadband, all adolescents got exposed to childbirth, successfully killing masturbatory needs for a week). We walked out of the doors by the library- you know, the ones that take you through the last little vestiges of Jr. High lockers, the half lockers stacked on top of each other where those unfortunate souls with last names at the end of the alphabet are relegated to. Nowhere near as cool as a locker in the hallway.

Anyways, it’s myself and Matt Etienne. He’s on about something, I forget what, and I probably wasn’t paying attention anyways. Mr. Ramondelli was though:

“You talking to yourself Matt?”
I snicker.
Matt sputters.
“Hey you know what Matt, that’s ok. You know, some of the best conversations you’ll ever have in life will be with yourself.”

That quote has stuck with me as clearly as the day he said it (at least six years ago). It was just… True. Even before he said it and certainly to this day, I’ve always been able to figure things out better (or just amuse myself) via self-discussion. I guess it was just refreshing to hear an adult say that.

So what’s the point of all these trampolines and swearing and schizophrenia-in-denial anecdotes? Childhood. Growing up. Troy, MT. These are the things that Mr. Ramondelli has been and always will be inextricably linked to for me and, I believe, for most of the kids that grew up with me.

Living in a town of one thousand people means that you see the same faces almost daily for the duration of your stay there. For me, Mr. Ramondelli was “there” for 13 years of my life. Around the neighborhood, at school, at the store where I worked- and the fact that he no longer is, well, it could be sad and I’m sure it is for a lot of people. But for me… It serves as a catalyst to all sorts of great memories I hadn’t thought about in years: Line-driving a softball at him in P.E. and getting that “holy shit” look in return, busting out the scoreboard with a kickball and wondering if he was gonna flog me, watching him try to deal with Kenny (“my dog eats popcorn”, “…That’s great Kenny”), having to do those hilariously-bad plays in World History (solely for his amusement, I’m convinced), his curiously wandering into Mr. Jones’s class when he was bored across the hall, and just that enthusiastic voice that no one who ever hears it will be able to forget.

Mr. Ramondelli.
Yeah.
The next generation of Troy kids will be missing out.

Comments(4)

78 posts. 432 comments. Barely three years.

Way back in August 2004, I made the first post for this site, and somewhere between the infamous “Suicide” rant garnering the attention of Jr. High kids, the eulogy for Eric Groff, and the lambasting of Troy’s then-Principal Rodney Smith, I carved out something of an identity for myself. Teachers told me how much they enjoyed my writing, local police spied on my pages for fight footage, a meeting was held among Troy High School’s staff to discuss shutting me down (my favorite), random people from other towns knew my name, and over a dozen students at THS partook daily (willingly or not) in the flame-war-extravaganza that is the Stupid Chronicles Forum.

And then I graduated high school.

For awhile there- about a year- I honestly felt like this was a part of me that was over. I mean, it’s just angry ranting, right? And the heated, mockingly pessimistic bastard inside of me felt gone. It really did. I felt like I grew up, that the drive behind these posts was gone- because I figure the only reason I ever posted here was to vent.

But I’ve come to realize something lately:

Yes, venting is wonderful, and doing so knowing that other people are deriving joy from it is very rewarding. However, the real reason I came here… The true reason I’d kick back for several hours and pour my mind out into a Wordpress textbox?

I’m a writer.

I have a notebook somewhere with over 20 pages of fan fiction for Tribes (which was just the beginning of a single story). Handwritten. I was about twelve years old when I wrote it. Probably as many pages for the “screenplay” (more like third-person short story with camera plots) for War, and twice as many for the story forms of the sequels (not including the screenplays). Then there were short stories that three and four years later became A Vulture’s Reward and Dead Winter Day, a fully written (but only half-shot), 35 page sci-fi/horror short (Hybrid), which was then reworked into a 7 page never-shot short, intended to be entirely from the helmet camera of a soldier. Few people I know have done that much creative writing for fun at all, much less by their junior year in college. I did it before graduating high school.

This is all very horn-tootery of course, but the point is that I’ve always been a writer; I can remember as far back as second grade having mini-contests with one Jake Jones about who could write longer fiction stories (and if I ever find those, I swear I’ll post them). Long-fiction, short stories, rants, commentary, reviews, even fucking Myspace bulletins, it doesn’t matter. I enjoy doing them all in one way or another.

I recently read something as part of my fiction-filmmaking class, where the author pointed out the best way to be a writer is to, well, write. Sit your ass down at specific time every day, for a specific amount of time, and do it. Even if you get three pages of absolute garbage, it doesn’t matter.

I’ve begun doing that, because atrophy is the greatest way to kill your mind. And starting around May- upon finishing my sophomore year at MSU- I started to feel it, and it got to such ridiculous heights that I had to shit-kick myself back into gear. Sitting on Myspace and the-horrible-place-we-don’t-speak-of for embarrassing amounts of time, not being able to adequately defend my point of view in class, finding more joy in sleeping than creating? Who the fuck IS this person? Certainly not the one who wrote those 78 posts that generated over four times as many comments. Christ, that’s the sort of person I used to eat alive during high school on here.

I won’t bullshit though- that person isn’t quite here anymore. I look at the “Suicidal” post and understand that it’s quite immature (though the reactions were even more so), as was quite a lot of what I wrote here. No, the person that writes here now is in some ways (possibly) more accepting, but certainly more bitter, callous, and hopefully, more creative.

So this site is no longer about ranting- specifically, anyways. It’s about whatever spews out of my mind and into a page. Shorts, rants, reviews (there will be a form of album reviews on here for sure, more on that later), random lines, anecdotes, bits of screenplays, bile, vehemence, love, things that’ll piss you off (yes, even you), make you giggle, make you wonder what I’m smoking (Jed’s hair), whatever the hell I feel like. I’ll try to keep things entertaining, though mostly just for myself (which has been good enough for most people in the past).

It’s been just over one year since the last post on here, and I felt like today was an appropriate day to begin again. After all, as of today I’m legally an “adult”, and I enjoy the irony of rebooting a place where I refuse to act like any sort of proper, functioning member of adult society. The layout has also changed a bit (now in delicious widescreen), and there’s a few kinks still to be worked out so bear with me. Much thanks to Speedkill for the redesign- over the last few years my other interests in life have beaten the shit out of the knowledge I used to have of PHP code. Also, the forum will remain in its current state: Registration is locked to combat spambots, and until I figure out if it’s possible to upgrade the code without losing 3 years of posts, it’ll remain the way it is. I’d love to see the regulars return, but I fear Myspace has killed activity for most forums like mine.

I don’t expect the likes of an audience that this site had at its height, and if there’s only two people that bother to read it regularly, so be it (that’s all I expected when I started this place anyways). I’m here to write. Do what you will with it.

Good day.

Comments(3)