Two years ago, somebody decided that my posting of the “Jesus Snickers” image on Easter was rather offensive, and opted to make a stand in my comments section with some rather… “Un-constructive” criticism. I promptly tore them apart, and to this day I don’t know for certain who it was (though I have my suspicions). Nevertheless, it was an entertaining episode (located here) that hasn’t been repeated.

That is, until now.

As most of you know, my previous rant was originally a bulletin on Myspace. And as bulletins tend to do, it snowballed. One of my friends reposted it (thanks Keith!), then some of his friends did, and so on. Well, there I was on Tuesday, sittin’ around waiting for class to start, when I received a random message from some girl named “Erin”. Usually, random messages on Myspace generate one response in me (“It’s a trap, do not want!”), but this one’s title perked my curiosity (“IQ of 15″) so I clicked into it. Two minutes later, I had renewed my lack of hope for the human race.

The following is the exchange between myself and this person, provided for your amusement (and least anyone think that messaging me, instead of leaving a comment, will grant privacy). Let’s start with the original message:

“Dear Chris

Apparently the only thing YOU take a stand on is putting people down; rudely at that. The ‘ No gas on May 15th’ bulletin was an effort by a group of people who may or may not know much about activism and this was their attempt to make a difference. And yes I know that only about 1/4 of Myspacers would even apply to this protest. And most likely less than half will comply with the bulletin. BUT did anyone ever say that “everyone pumps gas on the same day”? I don’t believe so. Let me go back and check that bulletin… oh yep, no one said it!

You shot yourself in the foot when you brought in “blah blah black people blah blah”. This shows you’re either 1. racist, 2. intolerant of others (OBVIOUSLY) and/or 3. not intelligent enough to form an argument that doesn’t involve bashing people and or groups of people who haven’t the slightest to do with the topic in question.

It doesn’t help that in your rant disguised as an argument you pull strings of words from thin air and try to play them off as quotes. That holds no water, and for someone who loves ranting and raving as much as you i would think that you would have figured out how to properly construct a debate.

You talk a big game pretending you know so much about activism, when in your own ‘essay’ (refer to 1. 2. and 3. towards bottom of bulletin) you give the impression that you would have been 1.the fat ass who simply ate the lunch while everyone worked their asses off to hunt and make it. 2. the cowardly shit who hid in the corner watching his friends get shot because he was too lazy (“wayyyyyy to much work”…) to help his fellow men let alone his own country. and 3. again, the fat ass who did NOTHING when these “blah blah black people” were working THEIR asses off for equality and respect.

“Do you want to put a dent in the oil executives pockets?
Shoot yourself, tard. Nobody likes a money-obsessed asshole.”

well that’s a very encouraging thing to say to people when they’re on the right path of making a difference. and i’m inclined to bring up the fact that that question/answer doesn’t even make sense to begin with. So if a bunch of myspacers committed mass suicide the oil exuctives would suddenly lower gas prices and dent their own pockets? I’m so sure.

It’s quite apparent that you, with your IQ of 160 and all, never stopped to realize(THINK!) that it’s the OIL INDUSTRY big wigs who are money obsessed..(why the fuck else would this bulletin have started anyway?!). obviously you missed the memo on that one.”

After collecting my thoughts- after all, I haven’t been jarred by this sort of idiotic nonsense since the days when Jr. High chitlins were rampant on here- I gave the following response:

*sigh* Oook:

“did anyone ever say that “everyone pumps gas on the same day?”

“If all myspace members did not go to the pump on the 15th it would take $2,163,302,190.00 out of the oil companys pockets”

I know, saying the same thing in different words is often confusing for the dense and illiterate of the world. You’re forgiven. Perhaps I could donate some money to you, so you could buy “hooked-on-phonics”? Because by the looks of it, your ability to infer things is non-existent.

“blah blah black people blah blah”. This shows you’re either 1. racist, 2. intolerant of others (OBVIOUSLY) and/or 3. not intelligent enough to form an argument that doesn’t involve bashing people and or groups of people who haven’t the slightest to do with the topic in question.”

Wow. Just… Wow. The sarcasm in that part was so, incredibly obvious that I figured even the most moronic Jr. High kid would understand. See, my point was that (it’s hilarious, and tragic, that I have to explain this to a 21 year old) if you’re going to protest something, it’s very un-ambitious and shallow to do it for all of ONE day. The examples I cite- D-day, NA colonization, and the civil rights movements- are all moments of great change in history that would’ve never happened if the people behind them were only motivated for ONE DAY. Does it make sense now? Am I getting through to you? Should I, perhaps, go buy some crayons and make you a colorful diagram?

“It doesn’t help that in your rant disguised as an argument”

Good thing I don’t call them rants. You know, like in this sentence in the intro: “I’m going to start taking the angry anti-bulletin rants I make and post them here”.

And seeing as you’re so high and mighty about properly constructed debates, feel free to point out exactly where I’m making up quotes.

“well that’s a very encouraging thing to say to people when they’re on the right path of making a difference.”

Yes, because of all the reasons to NOT drive- such as the environment, health, etc- the best one is to take money away from people. Oh shit wait- that was sarcasm, and you fail miserably at detecting it. What I mean is, shouldn’t people be doing it for the RIGHT reason?

“and i’m inclined to bring up the fact that that question/answer doesn’t even make sense to begin with. So if a bunch of myspacers committed mass suicide the oil exuctives would suddenly lower gas prices and dent their own pockets? I’m so sure.”

Even if I was entirely serious (which by no means was I) my point was that people who want to “get back at the rich” are misguided and irrelevant to the environmental movement.

Anymore points that you wish to have deconstructed, captain?

.

Now I must admit, given the length of the first message, I was expecting something half-way decent in return. However, my impression that this person actually gave two shits about what they were saying was apparently dead wrong, because a few hours later I received two more messages. The first consisted of a single line:

“hahaha, you are such a faggot.”

And the second:

“you’re NINETEEN! go get a FUCKING college education. no wonder your life is so dark and depressing.. because you have no friends. and no life. and no education. poor baby.”

After recovering from the mortal wounds to my psyche (or once I managed to stifle my laughter), I gave the following reply:

“hahaha, you are such a faggot.”
“you’re NINETEEN!”

…And yet, when somebody tries to make a point against something *I* say, I take the time to give a thought-out reply. I guess when I’m 21 I’ll revert back to the 13-year-old response of calling someone a fag? I can’t wait!

“go get a FUCKING college education”
“…depressing.. because you have no friends. and no life. and no education.”

As if the irony between calling me a faggot and then saying to get an education wasn’t enough, you decide to display your astounding (uh-oh, a three syllable word! You’re probably lost now) punctuation abilities right there. Is it fun, being such a blatant hypocrite?

I’m in college, by the way, and doing quite well. But your concern is duly noted.

“no wonder your life is so dark and depressing”

Is it now? I could of swore I was rather happy and have plenty of good friends. Oh noes!

Feel free to keep making an ass of yourself, it’s extremely entertaining.

.

That was nearly four days ago, and given that Myspace tells you if they’ve read the message (and she did, not long after I sent it), I’m quite sure that’s the end of it.

I’m still baffled as to how anyone could’ve missed the sarcasm in the history bit of my rant, I really am. Yeah, my rants are biting and I would never consider them polite in the least; on more than one occasion just that alone has irked someone, and that’s understandable. But this is a whole new one- I never thought I’d have to explain that a paragraph that starts off with “Waaaaaaoooooh” is sarcastic. I always figured the people who wouldn’t understand something that obvious are either A) still in 4th grade or B) incapable of finding their way to this site due to being completely illiterate. But, I guess this person overcame the odds. Bravo to her! I say we all chip in and get her a nice piece of educational software- they have lots of nifty pictures these days, and that would probably be right up her ally.

Comments(5)