They sit down.

Pro-lifer: “Hey Bubba?”
Bubba (of African-American descent): “Yessum?”
Pro-lifer: “Your home was decimated by Hurricane Katrina, right?”
Bubba: “Yessum…” *sniff* “My Budwiser inflatible home furniture… My Sanford an’ Son VHS collection… My pig… ALL GONE!” *sobs*
Pro-lifer: “Well, listen to this…”
*both scoot closer to bar table*
Pro-lifer: “Right, did you see the satellite photos of the hurricane, just before it hit?”
Bubba: “HELL NAW MAN! I was busy boardin’ up the trailer! Fucker ain’t well insulated, I can tell ya that right now…”
Pro-lifer: *sigh* “Well just in case, I brought these with me…”
*takes out satellite photos*
Bubba: “What, you own a satellite or sumthin’?”
Pro-lifer: “No-I… Dammit- The internet. It’s called the internet.”
Bubba: “Oooh, my cousin Jimmy-Joe has that. He goes to this one place all the time, called Hot Midget- ”
Pro-lifer: “MOVING ON… Look at the orange area, what’s that look like to you?”
Bubba: *puzzled look* “Uuhhmm… A fish! Yeaah! Hell, maybe even a dadgum shark! Ha, wow!”
Pro-lifer: “No, LOOK! See the head? The feet? See ‘em? It’s A FETUS!”
*Bubba stares blankly*
Pro-lifer: “Do you have any idea what this means? DO YOU?! There’s five abortion clinics in New Orleans alone! God was obviously trying to wipe them out!
Bubba: “But whuddabout tha church goin’ folk?”
Pro-lifer: “Guilty by association!”
*long pause*
Bubba: “Naaah man, ya got it all wrong. See, the white folk-”
Pro-lifer: “Oh here we go-”
Bubba: “Hear me out! My cousin Barry heard it from a friend of his uncle’s nephew’s daughter’s sister’s brother, that… That…”
Pro-lifer: “Yes? What?”
Bubba: “That them damn white folk blew the levee up with dyno-mite! And they dun planned it so only the brothas would be whipped out! Cracka’ land is completely dry!”
Pro-lifer: “You can’t be serious…”
Bubba: “I ain’t the one sayin’ a giant goddamned fetus attacked New Orleans!”
Pro-lifer: “It was a sign from God-”
Bubba: “Bullshit!”
Pro-lifer: “Come ON! These are the same people that think a mass of cars turning left for 2 hours is the pinnacle of entertainment, and YOU think they could plot the flooding of a specific part of a major city?!”
Bubba: “They damn clever, I tell you what boy-”
Pro-lifer: “Southern racists are clever?! You ate a lot of glue as a child didn’t you?”
Bubba: “Fine, fuck you! Fuck all y’all! The way the brothas been gettin’ treated down there is just more evidence of whitey keepin’ us down!”
Pro-lifer: “You know what? Fine! You obviously need to get in touch with God! Good DAY!”
Bubba: “Fine!”
*Pro-lifer storms out*
Bubba: “Dadgum white people…”

Soon thereafter, the Pro-life advocate took his idea to a small collection of retarded folk posing as a cult- er, religious group- known as “Columbia Christians For Life”. They then published his idea, and humanity will spend the better part of its stay on earth trying to figure what they were smoking.

Not long after leaving the bar himself, Bubba met one Louis Farrakhan, leader of the Nation of Islam: A long running black power movement that for one reason or another, has failed to realize they are now in the 21st century. Anyways, Farrakhan immediately dubbed Bubba a very reliable source and proceeded to announce that “whitey be keepin’ the black man down, yo!” to anyone that was listening (which for some inane reason, included the mainstream media).

And thus is the previously untold tale of how these two, like most, conspiracy theories started: Two nutcases just a trifle out of touch with reality getting hammered in a bar and making futile attempts at explaining things. At least, that’s the most plausible explanation for such massively derailed lines of logical thought.

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